Declan is already 6 days old! I can't believe it. There are times I look at him and think "cherish this, because you'll never have another 6 day old again". I definitely see myself getting baby envy some day down the road, but I also feel that my little (big) family of 5 is complete. Some things really haven't changed much. I still put Connor to bed every night, Emma still gets her millions of books read to her each day, etc. But I still feel like life has changed for them so much. They have both been so awesome during this week and really, I don't think they care that much about a new baby in the house. Even Connor, who I was so worried about heading into this whole 3rd baby thing, hasn't acted all that weird about this new little baby who's stuff has taken up half the living room. He likes the fact that they both have binkies..lol. Even after all of that, sometimes I sit and sort of long for what life used to be like. Don't get me wrong, I love my little "decky" (as big sis calls him) with all my heart and I don't regret him for a second. It's just hard to imagine what life will be like since I'm still in "never leaving the house because none of my clothes fit and the baby wants to eat every 20 seconds" phase. This shall pass and life will be back to normal, I'm sure.
Breastfeeding. Yeah. That yeah is said really drawn out, like "yeaaahh" in a really monotone voice. I don't like it. Does that make me a horrible person for saying that? I mean, I don't HATE it and I'm doing it because that's what's best for him, but I'm not jumping up and down every time he wants to eat. The experience has been a lot better than it was with Connor and we actually have no issues with it. He latches on great, he seems to be eating enough, etc. I think it's just the fact that it's ALL ON ME. Some mom's love that aspect of it, that them and only them can feed their child. I see that point, I do. If I only had one child. But when I constantly have to tell my other two no or tell them they have to wait, it bothers me. Or, you know, when I'm sitting there in the recliner with my boob out while my husband gets to roam around the house. We ordered parts for my pump, which should be here in a few days. I think being able to pump the occasional bottle so someone else can feed him will help a lot in me being able to continue.
Back to all my new mommy hormones and the flood of tears I've been crying. We ended up staying in the hospital an extra night, so around 2pm on July 4th we got to go home. I had been promising Emma we'd hit up the local fireworks display for weeks, so I attempted to go out that night to watch them. Yeah, wrong idea. I was in so much pain, it was super hot, and the thought of not getting back home until close to 11 just didn't appeal to me. I started crying in the middle of the mall parking lot because I just wanted to go home. But I also didn't want to miss seeing my two oldest's faces when the display started. My parents, who have been life savers, stayed with the kids while me, Declan, and DH came home. I cried all the way home because I just hated missing something like that. Then the next day my mom came over and stayed with me while DH went back to work. He stopped on the way home and got them a gift card to Red Lobster since they'd practically parented Em and C since Sunday night. I then cried like a baby when I gave them to her...lol. Like I said, the tears have been coming hot and fast.
Now there is another parenting issue my husband and I are trying to work out, and needless to say, I have no idea how I haven't drowned yet.
Declan's first appointment is tomorrow and I'm so anxious to see if he's gained any weight yet. He was 7lbs 7oz at birth and 7lbs exactly when we left the hospital. It will also be the first time leaving the house since our failed 4th of July outing, so I'm kind of excited about wearing make-up again.
Like promised, his birth story is coming soon. By the time I get around to writing it, I'll probably have forgotten all the little details and it will like 2 sentences long. ;)
A little cuteness just because. :)
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